Tuesday, August 4, 2009

N=1 - Remicade update

Ok, I'll be honest.

I love the mousie.

I was pretty worried about Remicade - I think the whole idea of having an "infusion" was scary, and made me feel sicker. Sitting in a chair for 2 hours pumping in a mystery drug sure smacks of big illness.

But the truth is, I have big illness, something I am violently reminded of whenever the Remicade wears off and the Psoriatic Arthritis takes over.

For me, Remicade really works. I'm riding my bike. I'm running through the forest chasing my son. The other day, in the garden, I found myself squatting to determine whether a new seedling was a weed. It was, and half-way through pulling it I realized I was squatting. I haven't mindlessly squatted in years. A silly thing to celebrate, but celebrate I did.

My point, however, is not that Remicade works. My point is that Remicade works for me. I tried Methotrexate, Diclofenac, Humira, even crazy levels of Ibuprofen. It has taken a year and a half and 3 rheumatologists to find something that works for me.

So don't give up. I now believe that you can feel much, much better, with whatever is the right treatment for you. Be patient, give each thing a decent try, and don't settle for less than remission until you have to. (I was on Humira for almost 6 months, and as regular readers know, I thought I was "better enough". It took my savvy rheumatologist reading this blog, and dragging my butt back in to her office, to make me realize that I was settling for less than remission).

Don't give up. You too will squat again. It feels great.